DECORUM PLEASE

Dr. Omolola Omoteso
Executive Director, Cares Global Network

 #JustSharing #ExcelWithAnne

I have a counselling ministry and leadership training academy among other initiatives... We care, counsel, coach, consult and coordinate. If you have the desire to excel, sign up by registering (fee based) or request 15 minute free chat or counsel. Many lives have been transformed by the right words at the right time from the right person.

To what I really need to share...

It is fast becoming a fad for people to send "friend" request on Facebook only to bombard you with sermon, invitation to zoom meeting, invitation to page or group, request for money, real estate or product sale or even start toasting or chiking (unsure of spelling o, I once heard my sister-friend use it).

This is so WRONG and does not show you have manners or put it nicely, DECORUM.

1. If you fancy someone and sincerely want a relationship, ask to be introduced by a close friend of him/her who knows you well. It puts you on a good pedestal to start off something that could lead to more. Refrain from agbero move of sending "I like you". Then they ask you what you like and you have nothing meaningful to say than "I just like you". Rubbish and nonsense. An intelligent person should be able to say something you like about someone you are interested in, something sensible that shows your brain in not in the amoral wave length.

2. You want to market your service or product. After someone accepts your friend request, nicely ask for an appointment or introduce yourself briefly and send a flyer or short video of no more than 3 minutes, 1' is ideal. This is better done publicly so your own friends can attest to your credibility. This also tells the person you are legit. Everyone is selling real estate and claiming legit, dem no dey write am for forehead who go run comot with ya money. A woman who reached me in the height of grief is now with 55+ Million from my family and friends that has caused rancour within the family. All she and her siblings are telling me is that it was not a scam and I should give more time to get land; papers given to me have comma. Should I? If I do or don't, I no longer trust even a referred angel when it comes to real estate so it is zero outcome no matter how you push and shove.

3. You want to preach, sermonise, share music etc. Start a church or movement and grow it with those who know you. To reach a stranger, introduce yourself and send a link to your page or site, if you would like the stranger to read, listen or watch. KISS - Keep It Short Simple. If the person looks around and finds something great, he or she will ask more questions, do not just shove your live videos, music or sermon to people. IT IS RUDE. I have sermons and messages in thousands, if we start the game, na you go tire. Don't force feed me your messages. It is rather rude to post all your live videos to group or alumni pages, use mediums for what they are for. If you must share something special do it infrequently to give others a breather.

4. Invitation to meetings or programmes. Introduce yourself and add a summary. If I don't know you, I am not likely to click your link. If I do, I am not likely to schedule to attend your meeting. I have 24 hours in the day, except you are inviting me to collect money or some other valuable stuff, I am not likely to consider it a priority except you are my pastor, mentor, sweetheart, colleague, sibling or close associate.

5. Solicit help especially money. Go to the bank or politely ask for a meeting. People I met 20, 30 years ago who has never been a part of my life send friend request. I am so happy to add them, the next thing, "I need you help." Dang! I was not relevant to you 10, 20, 30 years ago suddenly, it is me who can solve your problem. Biko how?

6. Questions and Query. If you are not close to me, and I mean close in the real sense of relating with me, you have no right to query or question my post. People will post celebrations, you will turn off your face but they post about death or funeral, then you want to form close by sending private messages. Keep such to yourself. At best, pray for such a person. If you have no husband to give stop asking whether someone is unmarried. It is none of your business. Hian. If you are concerned PRAY.

7. if you seek counsel or mentorship. Politely schedule. Do not just call on the whim and expect the person will devote time to you. Some send hello just to get the person's attention and then they start sharing their life history, so wrong. I was willing to help someone who reached me that way but she wanted help on her own terms. Please nicely reach those you need their counsel or mentorship and request an appointment, then reach them at that time. If they are not available, ask to reschedule.

Of course if there is an EMERGENCY, you can do what those 4 did for their friend in the Bible, break down the roof. The result at worse is that you will be asked to fix it.

In conclusion,

8. That someone is your friend, does not mean they fancy the pastor you fancy so sending all your prayer meeting videos may not be well received. If they let you, don't be upset if they also do the same.

9. If you desire those you reach to respond to you, respond to them, even if you think their message is stupid. If you ignore people, they have a right to ignore you.

10. Do not take the liberty to harass people for their post. If you do, be ready to be harassed. Avoid querying your friends for their status... You may not like my friend but my status is mine so swallow it and be in your lane. You may not like that someone is calling out another, remember it is their status not yours. The best you can do, if you cannot help, it to offer suggestions or advise.

11. If someone is often on your page, liking, loving and laughing, it is polite to find a moment to check out the person's page too especially if they are colleagues. It tells them you are not having a hangover on superiority. If all your family and friends suddenly stop paying you attention, hand to my tongue and to the sky, you will have nervous breakdown. So stop for a moment, check someone out and leave a message.

If you learned from above, this too may be worth your while... ou-journal.blogspot.com/2021/02/hold-your-should.html

Be well. Be.