A Nigerian journalist who lost his wife during stillbirth a week before her 35th birthday left with a three-year-old son. Given his very terrible and bitter experience of the demise of both mother and child at labour, I fainted instantly; I can't hold the shock; it was devastating; I lost everything because my life is meaningless without my better half. She is everything a man will wish for in a woman. I can't question God though, but it's extremely painful and an unfortunate experience for me.
Attribute her death to unprofessionalism by the nurse on duty and carelessness of My mother-in-law, who was receiving calls in front of my late wife, reiterating the lost child to people. I think that's what really made her BP rise uncontrollably before giving up the ghost. The responsibility of a two-turns one silently goes about the responsibilities—the unsung hero of his child's lives. Single fathers like this deserve a special salute despite being fraught with challenges. Onaolapo Olalekan Oduola shares this with Fly Cable News reports.
Hear from the horse's mouth the agony of a single father.
The demise of my late wife exposes me to the other side of life. Humans are unpredictable beings. We have the tendency to change at any given time, and that has a phenomenon that we cannot comprehend because only God knows and only He alone can be perfect. But my experience as a single father has a ripple effect on the decisions I have been taking lately.
Since the demise, I've witnessed and experienced torture from my mother-in-law and my late wife's siblings. They have not been cooperating at all. At the funeral, they had access to my room; they carted away all that belongs to her (her phones, wearables, documents, and credit cards), unknowing to me. I was in shock because it was the least I expected from those I see as family. I never knew what was coming until a few weeks after I was called by cemetery attendance to come seal off the grave. While that was going on, her junior sister called and said that she needed to have the last phone that I bought with my own money for my late wife. I was shocked, drained, perplexed, and flabbergasted; I couldn't imagine what she was thinking or what's happening.
How could she? I just lost her sister, my lovely wedded wife. It was unbelievable; I can't even imagine, so I let that slide, but I had to reach someone older to relate with for the family to know what's going on, to my dismay; the responses I received afterwards had not been palatable.
After that day, it was November that the Lagos state government marked distressed buildings in my area, and mine was involved. I went to the hospital because I was placed on medical examination since I lost my wife. That afternoon I received a call that my house was about to be demolished by the officials of the Lagos State Building Control Agency under the directive of Lagos State Governor Mr. Babajide Olusola Sanwo-Olu.
I dashed from the hospital straight home, but on my way I called my late wife's family since they have other valuables that belong to her. She came with a Volkswagen transport vehicle to cart all that was left of her and left with my belongings. I called a few friends that were around to help.
It wasn't a nice experience; the pain intensified because my late wife and I already planned that she wouldn't give birth here in Nigeria, but God knows best. She had her first degree at the University of Lagos University; we are planning for another degree in the UK, and that encouraged me to pay for her international course, which she couldn't attempt before she died.
I made the move to secure another apartment, but I was outsmarted by a fraudulent caretaker who absconded with $1.350 million paid for a mini-flat at a little too far from my previous residence. The day I was to move in, I met another occupant with a full load in there. I reached out to the caretaker but to know avail. When I eventually reached him, he told me my money was gone. How do I cope? I lost my wife; I lost my home; now it's another rootless experience from a man of God.
Well, as a law-abiding citizen, I went straight to lodge a complaint at Denton Police Station before proceeding to Panti Police Station (Anti-Robbery Unit) Adekunle. While that was on, I tried as much as possible to make some move because I cannot afford to be homeless; I have a child to care for. He's staying with his grandma (my late wife's mother) long and short of it. I took another step that led to his arrest; I recovered the sum of $1.150 million with an undertaking that he'll refund in due time.
Be that as it may, I secured another apartment (a 2-bedroom flat) at Ilasa Mushin. I thought it was over; that was actually the beginning of my ordeal. My mother-in-law became something I can't express; she tortured me, she threatened me, and she reminded me of my late wife every day because, not for her demise, my son would have remained with me. I am a busy man; I work 24/7 to make sure my family receives the best treatment as a caring father and loving husband. She kept threatening me with my life and that of my son.
I am a responsible man, so I know what it takes to be there for my boy. I never let him feel the vacuum of my late wife. My family, however, has been supportive too, but because the demise of my wife left me and my mother-in-law with an open wound, I obliged that my son stay with her, not knowing that was my greatest mistake. I took her as my own mother.
At first she disenfranchised me full access to my son; she extorted me almost every two weeks; she tormented me to the point she went to Alakara police station to report that I wasn't father enough; I wasn't living up to responsibility as a father just because I want my boy to spend the weekend with me. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law laid ambush on me, tore my clothes, and disgraced me in the presence of my son before I was invited, and to their dismay, I didn't appear as described, and that drew the officers attention to know more about me, my occupation, and my late wife. They saw it as a family issue and advised we settle it amicably for my late wife's soul to be at peace.
She requested I pay her the sum of $20,000 as upkeep for a 3-year-old boy. Where is it done? Section 25 of the Child Rights Law stipulated that "I, the father, in case of the demise of my wife, SHOULD HAVE 100% CUSTODY OF MY SON'S FUTURE; more in case I don't pray for now that I am no more, my father should be in possession of my son." Well, it's nothing of my son, but I have spent; I was duped and in grievous pain. I thought she'd understand, but no, she doesn't. I, out of pity for my son, gave her 15,000 naira. To my surprise, I was called two weeks after that, and the money has been exhausted. For crying out loud My son is just 3; he can not even finish a 300-naira meal. At Christmas, I requested to take my son out because when my late wife was alive, that was how we spent our holiday. They reluctantly released him to me.
I wasn't even pulling any strings because these people don't understand how valuable they are to me. I cherished them even more than I do to my own immediate family. It's just so pathetic. That went on; during this period, I never made an attempt to report or take any legal action whatsoever. They kept visiting. How can you not take care of your grandson? What if I don't have a job? What if I left the country unannounced? What if I don't care?
One faithful day, my mother-in-law sneaked to my residence; she met my landlady on her way in; unfortunately, my landlady couldn't recognise her; she had to reintroduce herself. She (my landlady) accommodated her and listened to all she had to say before she took her leave. When she left, she went straight to Alakara Police Station again to lodge a complaint about what I know nothing about.
Luckily this time, my landlady escorted me and represented my mother. After long deliberation, the IPO in charge pacified both parties and advised that they let me have access anytime or any day I want to see my son. As if that was not enough, my next attempt was worse. I nearly lost my life for requesting to see my son. These experiences are gradually eroding the feeling to marry another woman because who knows what experience I'll go through from her family too?
Not withstanding, during this period of torment and torture, they took my son to parties, and God knows where. Sometimes, they never return till around 11 p.m. or the next day. Imagine a boy experiencing this at a very tender age. What on earth will a boy of 3 years be doing in a party till 11 p.m.? I believe in building a strong foundation as an elite for my boy. I've done everything in my capacity to make sure he lacks nothing, not even the absence of his mother.
To my greatest surprise, when I called that my boy would be with me during this festive period, my mother-in-law told me emphatically that she kept my son somewhere for reasons best known to her. I can't imagine this statement with how it made me feel I have to report back to Alakara Police Station, where they knew all that has been happening. On getting there, she was mandated to first reveal the whereabouts before a stipulated time and that she should provide my son on or before Thursday. But because of who she is, she refused to adhere. On Thursday, I was summoned in the morning, hoping my son was already in their custody. After all efforts, the case was transferred to Gender Unity in Ikeja, where SP Bimbola took over.
When my accomplice Inspector Phillips from Alakara and I got to Ikeja, I received a call that she (my mother-in-law) had been arrested with my son. She was transferred down to Ikeja, where the law took place. She was briefed adequately on the rights of a father and her stand. To God be the glory, my son is now with me, and we are living fine.
So if you ask me, it has not been a beautiful experience that my lovely wife is no more.May her gentle soul continue to rest in peace. Were there things that give you joy about them, and how do you spend your pastimes with them? Absolutely yes! The joy of fatherhood is written all over me now that my child is in my custody. I can at least know how he feels, I can get him what he wants at the right time, we talk always, and I am not playing my role as his father adequately and as prescribed by our norms, tradition, and the law.
Our pass time is well spent. My son enjoys playing video games, singing nursery rhymes, going on tours, and of course visiting the rest of my family. My late wife missed me so much. May God forgive my shortcomings and grant her internal rest. May God bless me and my son too.
No comments:
Post a Comment