Walk With Widows
#JusticeforWidows #EndWidowAbuse #ReformProbateLaws
May 15, 2019
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REPORT
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Lagos, Nigeria
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Justice for Widows
Wicked widowhood practice has continued despite laws and customs put in place to mitigate such. Today in Nigeria, widows are still being humiliated, dehumanised and abused via wicked customs, rites and rituals that make one question whether the present government care about women. Sadly, the percentage of women in socio-political offices continues to decrees despite the clamour for affirmative action. With fewer women in legislative roles, the chances that the issues of widows would take frontline are fast dwindling especially because the number of widows in political offices is negligible. This is not unconnected with the fact that society strips widows of dignity and many United Nations initiatives do not make widows a major focus.
In Nigeria, customary laws have provisions for levirate inheritance, which is the “take over” of widow by any of her deceased husband’s male sibling or relative. Though this is fast eroding, some cultures deprive women who decline, the right of place as members of the deceased’s extended family. Some take over the children or force widow to return the bride price.
In a funeral ceremony witnessed in Delta state, the burial was to be discontinued because the woman failed to come with her wedding ring. Prayers and appeal saved her from having to return to bring it from the Northern part of Nigeria where she lived with her husband before he died in a railroad accident. The custom there is to bury the widow’s wedding ring with the deceased. This is a wicked custom meant to diabolically and psychologically make women bound to their deceased husbands and so not free to remarry. Does death not come to all?
Customary laws include provision that the family of deceased husband takes care of his living spouse and children (where they have any). This has become a role for sincere friends with a number taking up the education of the children but often only for a short while. Sadly many families engage in wickedness that robs widows (and often their children) of everything including the right to survive. Instead of providing care, comfort and compassion, families exploit, debase and abuse widows, rob them of priced possessions (built or sustained with their husbands) and drive them to the streets.
Roseline, a widow of Akwa Ibom descent, was chased out with her daughters having only the clothes on her back. She had to crash in with a family friend before heading out of Lagos to live with her uncle. Her first daughter have now been taken by the family with threats that the second one would also be taken since she has refused to sign into the levirate order.
Sadly, the government, women in positions of authority, churches, mosques and many thought-leaders have entered into a code of silence on this wicked practice, which is fast becoming endemic. It was reported in the news last year, how a widow gave up the ghost after drinking bath water from her deceased husband’s corpse. Another widow, Stella Ogheneovo, in May 2017 lamented how she was forced to disclose the assets her husband left behind by relatives fighting to inherit his property. Thugs were sent to beat and terrorise her and her five children in hopes of intimidating her. She was also forced to drink the water used to wash her deceased husband’s corpse to prove her innocence in his untimely death. Stella was admitted to hospital with severe stomach pains after the incident. Like these atrocities were not enough, her son recounted how his father’s legs were amputated and his body buried without other parts.
A clan in Edo customarily compels widows to cut hair, wear black or dark coloured clothes, and sit on bare floor anywhere from 7-40 days… The tales of wicked widowhood custom continues through the length and breath of Africa and beyond. Omolola Omoteso whose beloved hails originally from Oru Ijebu recounted how her husband’s corpse was moved to another hospital. In retrospect, she realised it was to ensure she had no access to the documentation process.
With many widows alone, lonely and in grave grief from how and when their husband dies, they are rather weak and have no resources to fight or advocate for justice. So many of these issues continue without any law or bill criminalising such and so the abuse and dehumanisation experienced by thousands of women are swept under the carpet.
Wicked widowhood or mourning customs, rites and rituals that widows are FORCED to go through include sleeping with the corpse as a symbolic last sexual act with dead husband, drinking the water that was used to wash the husband’s corpse for self exculpation, sitting or sleeping on the bare floor without a blanket for weeks or months regardless of weather (act of dethronement from being wife), wearing the same garments for weeks or months, trial by fire as an ordeal to prove innocence from murder, shaving of the widow's hair with razor blade which could be of the head only or include pubic and armpit hair, hair and mourning clothes burning, ritual cleansing by sex, sitting naked to wash in a stream, returning home naked after cleansing and in some cases one year after to complete the cleansing process, obligated to dress in black, restricted from going out, compelled and controlled weeping and lamentation, forced sexual relations with family members, brothers-in-law, father-in-law to “cleanse” the widow of evil spirits. This is nothing but rape of the body and mind! One neither President Buhari nor President Trump would wish their wives to be subject to. The widow is deliberately made to look dirty and ugly, labelled untouchable, defiled and banished from receiving gifts or handshake. She is stopped from eating, fed by others or made to eat from broken plates. Some cultures scarify widows. Nigeria: A ritual by the name of "isinku" that a widow is subjected to upon the death of her husband, 4 May 2000, NGA34292.E, available at: https://www.refworld.org/docid/3ae6ad702c.html [accessed 16 May 2019]
Among the Yoruba in Lagos State, the people of Ijora have a three-month official mourning period during which widows are not allowed to remove or change clothes until the end of the mourning period. Her hair is shaved and she is made to sit on bare floor. Many customs practice this wickedness. A widow from Ilaje narrated how the women who were appointed to supervise her debasement and shame of sitting on the floor would have her sleep on the bed when night falls and the door to her room is closed. This is the only way she succeeded in sleeping throughout the three months of mourning.
Sadly, the judiciary and law courts that should advocate for women or stand by widows, have become complicit in the abuse women go through especially as it relates to the process for obtaining death certificates and letters of administration. It is appalling that law courts in Nigeria and USA to mention two, are being used for disenfranchisement of widows.
The courts are not effectively applying the measures as provided by the law due to corruption and tribal sentiments. Dr. Omolola Omoteso narrated that though Nigeria Police Area F Command investigated her case and adjudged it criminal, both parties were asked to go and settle it t home. This surely make one wonders how much bribe changed hands. All questions asked by the Commander ACP Zungura pointed to fraud by Adeleke Omoteso, her husband’s brother; yet, the report from the Police was first declined then written in a watery manner as to release the culprits from prosecution. Many guilty parties, like Adeleke Omoteso, his wife – Olubunmi of First bank Nigeria and and co-lawyer – Iseoluwa Abiodun-Johnson, with whom he perpetrated the fraud walk away unpunished.
The Convention on the Elimination of all Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW), an international treaty adopted in 1979 by the United Nations General Assembly has unfortunately not focused much on widow abuse, which is clearly bias and violence against women. CEDAW is an international bill of rights for women instituted on 3 September 1981 and has been ratified by 189 states. Nigeria signed the bill on April 23, 1984. Dr. Theodore Obiageli Okonkwo, a lawyer and gender rights activist, was Nigeria’s elected representative to the United Nations’ Committee on CEDAW. Her tenure ended in 2016, sadly she passed away in 2017.
Dr. Oby as she was fondly called was the founder and Executive Director of the Civil Resource Development and Documentation Centre (CIRDDOC), an independent, non-governmental organisation that is committed to the promotion of human rights, good governance and access to justice. She retired from the magistracy after 23 years of service. She was at the forefront of the campaign for the promotion and protection of women’s rights. She was a human rights activist, election observer, community mobiliser, independent development consultant and trainer/Facilitator. She authored several publications on gender and women’s rights. She, along with a Ugandan, represents Africa on the Steering Committee of the Coalition for the International Criminal Court and member of the ICC Gender Justice Team and Advisory Board member of Global Fund for Women. Where are other women advocating for justice?
A widow and United Kingdom-based Nigerian, Mrs. Patricia Kelly-Lambo, has cried out for justice and protection of her life, following a forged divorced paper presented to a UK court by the former wife of her deceased husband, claiming she is the only legally married wife to Engr. Olayiwola James Akanbi Lambo who dies on November 3, 2017. According to Patricia Lambo, she lived together with her late husband in their London home before he took ill on July 17, 2017. While still trying to come to terms with the death of her husband, she discovered that the ex-wife, Esther, who her husband married and lived with between 1962 and 1974, but later divorced went to the hospital, the birth and death office in London to pose as the wife and was then issued with the death certificate. In the process of trying to dispute the claim of Esther and get back custody of the papers already issued to her in order to proceed with the arrangement for the burial of the deceased, she discovered that Esther and her son, Tunde, had filed a lawsuit in UK court claiming Patricia was divorced by the late husband and presented forged divorce paper, dated March 8, 2000 from a high court in Lagos.
Mourning rites and rituals differ from tribe to tribe but they are imposed on the rich and the poor, the educated and uneducated, the urban as well as rural people. The practices of wickedness to widows are most obnoxious in Eastern Nigeria. They are worse in ethnic groups, which have remained animist, and less horrific in Islamic and Christian groups. It is a tool of debasement by men against women popularised by the women used as tools of inflicting the abuse. Take the issue of Dr. Omolola Omoteso nee Famuyiwa that has gone viral online; a perfect example for many to see that wickedness to widows cut across social backgrounds. This widow is well read and wealthy, yet this has not stopped her husband’s family from perpetrating fraud against her. Her story is sad because the Lagos State Judiciary appears to be complicit deliberately or by process error.
Omolola, her family and friends began a campaign with #JusticeforOmolola. Why? She was abused in Nigeria and the USA because the Nigerian Law has holes through which fraud can and was perpetrated against her as a widow. Lagos State Hospital and Lagos State Judiciary (LSJ) were complicit in the abuse she experienced because a death certificate was issued with the wrong details to the wrong person and bank certificate was issued in her name without her knowledge. This grave injustice was possible because any lawyer can approach the courts of law in Nigeria, claim he is acting for a widow and go ahead to begin the process of applying for a letter of administration, provided he or she has a death certificate. Though she eventually collected a copy of the National Population Commission death certificate, the details put in by Adeleke Omoteso, which indicate Bola Omoteso lived in his house, could not be changed. Omolola who did not consider the error in address done on the basis of motive used it to file for letter of administration in the USA. All was well until Adeleke filed a law suit in which he alleged that Bola Omoteso who remained a citizen domiciled in USA changed domicile based on details which he doctored in the death certificate. The case which shold never have been admitted continues in the USA with Omolola likely to lose all if the government of Nigeria remains aloof.
Presently there is no clear rules or process of obtaining death certificate. Many believe it can be obtained by anyone who takes in the corpse. If so, this is faulty. Another error in process is the filling of forms for the issuance of death certificate. Anyone can presently apply through the hospital. Since Nigeria has no database of citizens, any name claimed to be a resident of Nigeria and any address written is acceptable. You can even bribe your way into getting a death certificate and autopsy result for someone still living. There is also an error in the process of collection, anyone seems to be able to collect this document, which is legal and can be used to perpetrate fraud against widows. In Omolola’s case, a sister-in-law collected it.
A journalist who spoke on conditions of anonymity lamented how her deceased spouse’s siblings broke into her safe to steal the death certificate while she was still in mourning. They used the document to transfer properties owned by herself and her husband but in her husband’s name alone, to themselves. It is a known fact that many Nigerian women, despite matrimonial laws, go through marriage without their names written on anything, even properties built and cars bought with their own earned income. Many Christian women take to heart the injunction in Mark 10:8 and Ephesians 5:23 which says two has become one and the man is the head of the home. Laws should clearly include what is covered under matrimony.
When Omolola asked the LSJ to retract the document, she was told to litigate. Widows who have the money, lack the strength to pursue cases. Sadly, the case brought against her because of documents issued with wrong details or illegally by LSJ in her name in Nigeria has continued in the USA for over two years. Omolola have lost a 1.5M$ property to Wells Fargo Bank who promptly took over the property after her husband’s demise.
Many have asked how this could have happened in USA where it appears the rights of women are protected. It appears being a woman with African roots changes everything for this Nigerian-American and calls to question the issue of sexism and racism. Bergen County Surrogates Court New Jersey where Adeleke Omoteso filed his lawsuit have suspended the state’s Probate Laws, which does not take cognisance of siblings where there is living spouse or child, in the matter of Bola Omoteso. Omolola’s husband’s brother, who is an attorney with no residency status in the USA, has succeeded in using legal holes to plug himself into the American system through Caucasian attorneys. Sadly only one human rights organisation, have put their weight behind this widow who has done a lot to advocate with results for children and/or women especially in Nigeria and the USA. While the petition by Women Advocates Research and Documentation Centre (WARDC) is being investigated by the Independent Corrupt Practices and Other Related Offences Commission (ICPC) the widow has been locked out of her USA home, chattes and inheritance impounded in USA and Nigeria while lawyers race to sell them off. One may ask, who is responsible for getting justice for widows?
One wonders how Adeleke Omoteso succeeded. According to Omolola, her deceased husband’s brother’s wife (sister-in-law) collected the hospital copy of death certificate for Bola Omoteso. This document, which already contained wrong residence details filled by Adeleke Omoteso, was then used by their attorney friend Iseoluwa Abiodun-Johnson to apply for letter of administration in her name in Nigeria. Iseluwa lied that he was representing Adeleke and Omolola but had up to that point never spoken to her or sought her consent. The judiciary in the USA does not believe this is possible. They also do not believe that an application for LA, which led to issuance of bank certificate in widow’s name, could have been done without her knowledge. Holes in Nigeria’s Probate Laws made this fraud by impersonation possible. A letter by the Lagos State Government to the Bergen Surrogate’s Court New Jersey would solve this abuse but LSJ has refused to step into the matter to clear the air and save Omolola from abuse.
After experiencing widow abuse, Dr. Omolola Omoteso has taken up advocacy and campaign to share information on the plight of widows and how people can prepare for inevitability. She has organised colloquiums, celebration, counseling, medical services and trainings. The importance of medical care to widows was driven home when two widows presented with high blood pressure reading of 196 and 214 respectively. They were promptly given medical attention and all participants were counselled about the importance of managing their health. In addition, she continues to support widows with funds. But she herself remains homeless from abuse.
A communiqué endorsed by the participants and others including Cares Global Network, Almanah Hope Foundation, Ashake Foundation, Beauty for Ashes and over 100 individuals was shared following a flagship event tagged Walk With Widows. The communiqué spells out what is required of widows, those still married, civil societies and the government towards eradicating widow abuse in Nigeria and beyond.
Dr. Omolola Omoteso’s case is one; Mrs. Patricia Kelly-Lambo’s case is another. Thousands continue to face a situation where in-laws legalise fraud by using institutions meant to serve justice. This news story, which backs up the 10 points agenda in the communiqué, has been written to focus again on the plights of widows in Nigeria. These stories sound no less like Nollywood only that women, real women have been compelled to pay the price. Some have broken down under such abusive weight while others have lost their lives in the process.
The time is now to END WIDOW ABUSE. We are via this report calling on the Federal Government of Nigerian and USA Government to arise and be counted as widows’ heroes of JUSTICE. Together we can seek #JusticeforWidows and #ReformProbateLaws.
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