Hold Your Should!

Hold your should!

Hold your should! I lost my mate not my mind. I’m neither a brat nor a beggar; quit attempting to tell me how to quench a fire that was set by criminals!

Mrs. Dolapo moved close to me, away from her husband’s hearing shot as she whispered, “You should not have worn that.” It is too early to wear jewellery. What I had on was so simple, it would take a prying eye to notice.

A family member, widowed years ahead of me said to me, “Hope you know you will have to burn all your widowhood clothes so it is better to only wear basic attire.”

“You need to cry in your videos!” Ms. Ijeoma hollered. But, I have the strength of God. Why should I? My tears in the privacy of my heart and home is to MY MAKER, who can comfort me, not mockers. Then she queried me for questioning the so called celebrity she referred. The one who tried to arm twist me to became the face of NGO for which she received funding as “ambassador” for less privileged. Then, she who I had supported as sister through a life threatening crisis, backed out after berating me with no kind words.

Ms. Abi reached me privately to say anger is stopping people from hearing me. She asked that I remove emotion from my posts... Truth? If I had no knowledge of God, and choose to respond to the aggravation of abuse, forgery and fraud, a gun is within reach. 

Olubunmi, the very one who was catalyst to fraud, who unknown to me connived with her husband to collect Temi’s death certificate said to me, “You would have to ride in the hearse with your husband.” My God has never failed me with appropriate answer to unsolicited foolishness. My response made her mute. She who wanted me with the casket, arrived at the church with face painted like she was attending anything but a funeral.

Bro. Joe advised I should refrain from calling folks out. He scolded that I change the advocacy strategy by reaching influencers privately with no confrontation. Valid if only private have been known to work. #SOROSOKE was birthed because quiet interactions seldom work. It is only confronting leaders with the light of truth that force the unrighteous to yield.

He did not include in his message that Bola Omoteso was engaged as an expatriate by PDF II who paid out zero beyond his fees following his demise. I received no condolence letter, neither a visit from the project that drew him to the nation where he was murdered.

Let’s back track... Why do we need advocacy for widow abuse? Why do we need influencers? Why do widows need attorneys?

After Malcolm X was murdered, his widow’s right to royalty was not wrestled from her. In sheer show of humaneness, Alex Haley, the co-author of The Autobiography of Malcolm X, signed his portion of royalties to his own bestseller - Roots, to Malcom’s widow. 

We only need advocacy and/or influencers because from Nigeria to America, the judiciary, executive and legislature are filled with unjust beings who deny their humanity as long as cash is involved! 

Was Bola Omoteso not Yemi Osinbajo’s bosom friend? Was Bola Omoteso not in Nigeria on the invitation of the Federal Government of Nigeria LEGALLY? No it was NOT a paddy paddy invitation. It was deserving and formal. Bola Omoteso worked previously as an Oracle Financials Consultant. His skill set was well sought after within and outside the USA. His resume includes projects with US Air Force, AT&T, Con Edison and others. Did Bola Omoteso not sign papers on January 6 2016 for a short term contract as Economic Adviser on Trades and Investment in the Presidency, a political role that should have been passed on to his widow? 

Why then do I need advocacy to retrieve my stolen rights? Stolen by judiciary in two countries that hoist the flag of integrity while their leaders struggle with charges bordering on corruption.

From when I was in OSU in 1991, lecturers gave grades for sex! Until public call out led to protests, leaders pretended not to know. Professors who savoured the bosom of willing and unwilling victims still litter our institutions as the scapegoat went to jail for soliciting sex. 

Widow abuse is as old as Nigeria, tell me one leader who has spoken against it and taken steps to criminalise it.

Mr. Segun reached out publicly but soon fell silent. Text messages to him privately were read but no response. He holds brief for those who are raped physically but those who are mentally raped as widows need to reach influencers to reach him. Or so it seems. He claims to be busy but post something that slights any of his associates and you are bound to be hounded within minutes.

Mr. Dapo promised to investigate and publish the truth but soon he fell silent. So did men and women of God and attorneys with some using it as license to siphon on grounds of being able to dig, drill or draw attention to the fraud that sought to inter me.

After waiting months to schedule a meeting, Sis. Abiola did great. She showed herself as a worthy advocate INDEED. She followed the path I expected of revered Mr. Femi and rising Ms. Ayo. But, when ICPC declined to investigate, after assuring us it was within ICPC’s jurisdiction, she refrained from doing what she did with other cases - #SOROSOKE. Her involvement was NEVER mentioned on her timeline. Why? I may never know.

When I asked for follow up, it was declined on the grounds that I am NOT indigent and her group only works free or on contingency basis for indigent persons. No fee was proposed to undertake my case. But a widow with everything taken has no fund to start the fire of shedding light on TRUTH; TRUTH that only needs light because the judicial system is compromised. From America to Nigeria, the system is built to let lies by those with cash or crowd fall through.

FIDA Lagos promised to step in after a former FIDA President told me my case is outside FIDA’s jurisdiction. After a long interview, I was invited back and told I will have to make a donation since I am not considered indigent. No argument I made flew. When I asked what amount are we talking about here, I was told, you would be reached later. That was between November 2019 and March 2020. 

Ms. Stella did her part. Went the extra mile. We asked and hoped for one more push... Taken in by my appreciation, she promised to do more. We wait still.

Ms. Funke asked me insensitively to move on. Is there moving on for a widow who is left with the clothes on her back as adversaries who took everything used impropriety as attorneys and wielded diabolic powers to bury her man’s memory in a sheer show of hate and hatred?! She who has never walked in my shoes told me what I should do. No sweat. When I turned round to ask what she has done, she questioned my right to such audacity. She was swift to block my number and my social media accounts. This is Funke with whom I prayed my heart out, cried to God about when office politics tried to snuff life out of her... counselled, coached, loved as sister.

There was one who began a thread on Twitter. I was shocked to see later that as he was retweeting and liking my posts, he was retweeting and liking adversaries too. Rather than ask where he stood, I knew trust was a strangled entity.

A full length interview was recorded by a producer at Channels TV. It was recorded for IWD. So I was told. A two part recording - one for news, the other for programmes. I am not a stranger to Channels TV. Following meeting Mr. John Momoh in Brazil he has been supportive of initiatives by CGN under my watch. Staff who have no idea of this have been drawn to my work and mission. On Presidential Election Day 2019, I was on air for about 3 hours as we analysed the elections. It was based on professional referral. 

But this interview, a personality interview, first of its kind, meant so much to me. It was recorded in my home. When I asked why it was not used for IWD March 8, I was told due to covid. When I pushed for it to be used for IWD June 23, I was met with silence. I thank those who have spoken out for the truth. The interview may have met a brick wall but Channels TV, still make the list of those to be thanked. A Channels TV Reporter interviewed me at NHRC Panel, the first to hear a case of widow abuse, one they never followed through. The reporter also covered our November 22 event for widows... I thank Ms. Lanre Anjola. I thank Brand Afriq. I thank Ms. Damasus. I thank Mrs. Pearl Kanu. 

I thank Mrs. Kofo Akinwunmi. I thank Mrs. Aisha Suleiman. I thank all those who stood with encouraging words and prayers especially my prayer partner Mrs. Adenike Abidoye, I thank Dr. Akiyode Afolabi. I thank the Teevans... God knows all who went the extra mile. I have no doubt his blessings went to where my voice could not reach. 

I specially thank Mr. Abiola Ajoni. Heaven who knows what you did, will pour out limitless blessings on you and yours. You are indeed an example of a brother whose friendship withstood the pangs of death.

To those who promised and failed. Thank you. Your failure drew me closer to God. The God who can in spite of illegal hijack of properties, pots, pants, panties and pennies, keep me covered. It is 5 years and I am STANDING STRONG. 

On the morning of February 11, 2016 I was jostled awake in Ogba... I saw an apparition in ghost like white, standing by the window. Though covered it looked at me with a smile, turned to the curtain held and pulled it to cover the open portion and said clearly, “Now you are covered.” I woke up as it disappeared. I was oblivious of what awaited me that night as I prepared for a meeting with a representative of an agency under Lagos State Government. A night where I prayed out my heart as Bola Omoteso’s brother lobbied to certify a man who was gasping for medical attention, DEAD. A night when the stroke of the pen was used to forge Bola Omoteso’s home address in New Jersey as the brother’s  home in Lagos, a visible proof of premeditation to dehumanise, defraud and disinherit. One he carried out once the coast was clear. A night that threw me into the pain of widowhood.

I have wrestled hundreds of widows from depression through Bola Memorial Watch’s Walk With Widows Initiative. We reached out globally by organising the first Justice for Widows Press Conference with participants from 5 countries. We have given recurring loans in excess of 5M to widows and others. Our colloquiums, clinic, counselling, coaching and consultation has helped many widows focus on creating wealth and wellness. Initiatives like Anne Cares Welfare Pack continue to support widows as we focus on advocacy, research and care.

Walk With Widows is an initiative for widows and non-widows who are interested in enlivening widows, enlightening people and empowering stakeholders to demand that the executive, legislature and judiciary, protect widows from stigma, fraud, discrimination, dehumanisation and disinheritance. Our vision it to #ENDWIDOWABUSE globally beginning with Nigeria and USA.

I thank all who gave and all who stood by me to ensure my story, stories of other widows and widowers and advocacy saw the LIGHT. It appears your voices have been muffled but be rest assured that these voices would add to the narrative as we continue our mission to EndWidowAbuse and serve Justice for Widows.

In Conclusion

The sum of $795,027.48 has been uncovered as surplus from the sale of 1 unit of our hijacked properties in USA. This is our property racially zoned as Englewood but sitting right in the middle of Fort Lee NJ. 

Before lawyers reached me, I received a letter saying there was surplus. I dug and realised the whooping figure. I got a lawyer on it but soon the lawyer seems to be drumming to beats of illegal powers that be. 

I legally and formally requested for this funds and there has been SILENCE from the NJ Court. Before the illegal sale, I challenged the case with a motion, after about a year, the court refunded the money with which I filed the motion. Why? Judgement was given in my absence. The property was sold. I was sent a letter and compelled to send my identification, which made me believe this was for the surplus. Only after the fact did I realise the $175 refunded was to bury my right to question why the motion was never heard.

$795,000+ is God’s compensation for an entire estate valued at $4.5M in USA with equity of about 2.5M. It was God’s compensation for hijacked inheritance and belongings in Nigeria. Yet, the criminals are in court again to defraud. 

You query me on when and when not to be emotional, you try to lecture me on how to do advocacy, but over 100 petitions has moved no morsel because judges, attorneys, realtors, brokers, bank and celebrity tenants are involved in the landmark criminal connivance. 

Know this, if the war on widows is not won, bother more about what will happen when you or your loved ones become widowed because widows are created daily. A friend was widowed before me. Another friend was widowed this year. Millions are widowed globally annually. 

Is violence needed to sound the drumbeat of racism, classism and sexism that makes widowhood a tougher calling for African women with no pool of funds to face the legal system contrived against their rights? When does fraud end? Who will speak and stand up for the truth? Will you?

Whether you have an answer or not, hold your should! Rather. ACT TO END WIDOW ABUSE.

Signed,

Dr. Omolola Omoteso

Transformational Strategist

Chaplain. Counsellor. Consultant. Coach. Advocate