GBAGADA ROTARY CLUB Price of Peace Dr. Omolola Omoteso
What exactly is the price of peace?
"The
price of peace is eternal vigilance." This quote attributed to George
Marshall and others, holds true. How vigilant are you to the cues and cries of
those around. When a man or woman says, I do not feel like you make me
priority. What is he or she saying? What is he or she saying? He or she is
saying you are threatening my peace.
Today, everywhere you turn there is the evidence of a generation which is deeply troubled, and does not know how to find peace. Sadly, we keep trying to find peace, using all the wrong things.
Today, everywhere you turn there is the evidence of a generation which is deeply troubled, and does not know how to find peace. Sadly, we keep trying to find peace, using all the wrong things.
According to the Stockholm International Peace Research Institute, global military spending in 2015 totalled $1.67 trillion dollars! Money we should have spent to build was spent to destroy. War stems from fear and results in destruction. Peace arise from trust and leads to cooperation. What is the cost of investing in peace?
Many
things threaten our peace – children (having or not having), finance, investment, projects, jobs, politics, wealth, extended family, crime,
war, even school fees…
Peace is fundamentally a spiritual issue. Yes, there is a price to pay in order to have peace but first, let us look at definitions.
Peace
can be defined as harmony with self, God and humanity.” Peace is a concept of
balance in the absence of hostility or violence. Peace is commonly used to mean
lack of conflict (such as war) and freedom from fear of violence between
individuals or groups.
Peace has two sides - Inner Peace and Outer peace. If there is to be peace in the world, there must be peace in our minds. Inner peace calms down the emotions; it is crafted into one word ataraxis, which means absence of mental stress, anxiety, tension, nervousness and agitation. This should mean presence of serenity, heart ease, quietness and tranquillity.
Peace of mind can be bought with money figuratively by living in comfortable home, safe environment, great job etc. Inner Peace is a state of being mentally or spiritually calm, with adequate knowledge and understanding to keep one calm in the face of discord or imbalance. Peace of mind is an inner condition, and is independent of external conditions.
Imagine how great it would be to stay calm, focused, fearless and undisturbed by circumstances and people… You can choose to stay emotionally and mentally poised and unshaken. Inner peace can serve you happiness, as well as inner strength and confidence. It is a skill that can be consciously learned.
Benefits
of inner peace are numerous, but I’ll mention few more:
1. Focus and concentration
2. Efficiency and effectiveness
3. Contentment and sense of
fulfilment
4. Patience and tolerance
5. Balance and beauty
Many
things that can promote peace include marrying right, if you married wrong, you
can seek counsel, if divorce is not an option. But, battery or nagging will rob
you of peace. Counting your blessings not your burden, self love, self-belief, belief in higher power (I call mine God, yours
can be Sango, if it serves you peace. Learn to smile and celebrate
success. Some people will say I don’t do party. If you have the money and can
keep bad belle people out, why not? Learn to laugh, enjoy nature and bask in
the sun.
I
used to complain about my husband not picking me from the airport. I got home
one day and he was not there and never coming back – positive perspective would
aid your peace, see good in people and in things, positive affirmation will
serve you peace. At times I stand in front of a mirror and say, Omolola ha!
Olorun se overtime on you! You think I don’t see my k-leg? I can’t change that,
so I live with it.
Few
years ago God gave me a maxim, “Life is a web of decisions”. So whenever I get
to a point where my peace is challenged, I ask two questions 1. Do you want to
be happy or right? 2. How can you solve this? Answers direct my decision and at
times, I let go.
Martin Luther King Jr. said, “True peace is not merely the absence of tension: it is the presence of justice.”
Eleanor
Roosevelt said, “It isn’t enough to talk about peace. One must believe
in it. And it isn’t enough to believe in it. One must work at it.”
So technically the price of peace is work. But what work?
If
anything is not well with you physically, spiritually, socially,
intellectually, financially, environmentally, occupationally and emotionally
you cannot experience inner peace even where everyone around you is peaceful.
Hence,
I say the
price of peace is wellness but wellness can only be obtained via
conscious work towards wellness. Wellness is the
price of peace or better put, the price of peace
are the seeds of wellness or work sown towards wellness.
Your Naira cannot literally buy peace, in fact, having too much Naira can take your
peace away… because that is when you will think of extra wife, more children,
more side husbands and more properties and ultimately, MORE steals your peace.
Always remember we all have 24hours in a day and the more we pack into it, the
more we mortgage peace. It is important to live as against merely existing. To
be well you must have resources to sow the SEEDS of wellness and reap the grace
and result therefrom, which is ALL ROUND or TOTAL PEACE.
I will give 1-3 words for each acronym in the word SEEDS. S.E.E.D.S. The price of peace is to grow these things:
1. Sleep well. When we sleep is when we are blessed with divine energy for the journey ahead. This is why in sleep is when we are mostly able to dream. God was able to draw out delicate Eve when distressed Adam slept. Abraham awoke to angels following his rest. I believe the Quran documents a number of miracles that happened post sleep. The time we are asleep is when cells pre-ordered are able to tackle sickness in the body and mind – these are called the immune system. Your soul is also awake to warn you or ward off evil. Ota o ni fi aisun se wa o (Enemy will not afflict us with insomnia). The ability to sleep well in a comfortable bed and home will be granted to you insha allah. Always remember that none of the things we acquire here on earth is leaving here with us when we are called to final rest.
2. Eat well. I do not only mean food but everything that goes in through the access in your body - your eyes, your head (won ni, oju ni alakan fi n’so ori - they say, eyes is what the crab use to watch her head), your skin, your mouth (when curses proceed from your mouth, it could affect your mind, try praise), even your nose (some by reason of feeding their nose with gaseous substance have become candidates for brain cancer), your hand (yes it is an access, some things you receive will stop you from receiving other blessings). Fruits nurture the body and makes your skin glow. Some wonder whether my siblings and I and our children were born abroad. No. It started from MAMI always giving us milk with honey EVERY night till we reached a certain age. She was a Wonder Woman who came well ahead of her time. Sex is food for the body too, so eat sex well. Better sex o, not in and out. Men! Women! Good sex for a woman starts in the morning, not when you are ready at night. I cannot begin to teach you the theory or practical of this. But truth be told, there is no better massage than sex. I am a CERTIFIED sexuality educator, a fellow of Sexuality Development in Africa so I know. For theory, you can book sessions. But what sex can do, I discovered dance, good massage or meditation can do, so feed your body with the right energy for the right emotion. Some say “you are chopping book”, literally it means eating book but it also means you are feeding your mind with knowledge. Feed your mind with good books; the ones that would cause you to come up with world changing ideas to make you a global sensation. Apart from what goes into your mouth, what comes out of it also matters; your self-talk must be filled with grace. Pronounce wellness so your head can be well. Meditate and pray well, these are good for the mind. May the power of The Divine enable you to eat and feed well. There is another E, empathy. Be sensitive to the feelings of others.
3. Some have elected to say this E is Exercise but under this E we can also have Encourage, Empower or Educate. If you feel that you have become a push over in an area because you lack the skills, position yourself to learn that skill. In 1997, I told myself that one degree, after about 6 years in school no thanks to strike, was enough but after a friend took my peace away by making me feel less competent, I signed up for more, today, I can challenge her in her own field. Educate your children and empower those connected to you, so you can enjoy peace in old age. When you empower yourself spiritually via prayer and reading the Holy Book, you feel heart ease. When you encourage yourself, you become strong enough to keep depression, dejection and disillusionment out. All four helps you to be well and serves you peace. May the grace to exercise, encourage, empower and educate yourself and others be granted to you and may you employ this grace for your wellness. The importance of exercise cannot be over emphasised; sex is a form of exercise buy please enjoy it, don’t endure it. And you can teach the woman you married the tricks that takes you to blissful heights rather than steal shows outside that takes your peace way.
4. Is D - Die well? No o! Not now, when you have given back to the world all you came with, you can position yourself to die well and that includes writing of will and other protective plans so your loved ones can have peace when you are gone. But the D here is dress well, for you first and then for your loved ones. Dressing well attracts grace to you and excites your soul, body and mind. It serves you peace and creates an aura around you that attracts blessings. Do not just wear anything because your woman or man made you mad or was mad at you, can two people be mad at the same time?! Baba God will grant you the mental, emotional, financial, spiritual and physical resources you need to look good as you dress well. Oyinbo se aso, ko se fitting mo (Whites made clothes but not how they fit). How so apt. No man or woman is created ugly. Take time to groom yourself. Even as a man, pay attention to your nails. Do you know that you can know how well you are by looking at your eyes or nails? I analyse my nails often... I have studied what to look at and for. For over 20 years I lived with a pain in an accidented toe, which became infected; this completely took my peace away. Over 20 years is too long to live with anything painful. Imagine dressing well and wearing nice shoes but doing talantolo because you have a bad toe or having to remove your shoes and every one covering nose because your un-groomed feet is oozing orisirisi! Dress the way you want to be addressed. If your mind is sick, mind you, dress no go fit you o. If you do not sleep well, fine dress will draw attention to your scraggy face. The grace to dress well, may Baba God grant it to you and yours. Other D’s declutter and detach. There was a time I was so overwhelmed by life and I had two options – suicide or detachment. I could not choose suicide so I had to detach from many groups. I sent a message, “It's been crazy the last few days... I can only pray peace is restored to my heart soon. Please permit me to leave the whatsapp forum for a while. Thank you.” So whether temporarily or permanently, you have to detach yourself or remove junks in your life… This includes removing toxic people from your network. Learn to detach yourself from unprofitable ventures. I don’t mean running away from your bukata. That will not serve you peace.
Support - By
supporting others to stand up for justice or promote good, you will earn peace. If you are not a member of a religious community, find
a non-profit organisation that gives back, it would serve you peace. One way to
support is by praying for the peace of your home, your friends and your
country. By helping others you would have a lot of peace but I want
to dwell on socialising, which is one of the reasons Rotary exist. There is a
lot of peace we can buy from mingling with the right crowd. It is why
fellowship here, in church, in mosque, with alumni and other groups serves
peace. It is important that you interact
with humans. Oyinbos will carry pets around but when depression sets in, dog no
go fit help. I know, many now have dogs or siri or vibrators but animal, gadget
or toy cannot take the place of humans. If you are too busy for family and
friends, the day you are sick, they will be too busy to care. If you are too
busy to visit friends, the day you become stupendously rich, absence of
cheerers could make you desolate. An alumni member was so busy, a fa ko n’iru
(we pulled him, he no get tail). Okay contribute money; he was too busy even to
do transfer. One day his child got sick. He had resources but needed time off
work to go with him for treatment but his highend office said no. No ke? So he
resigned. Then the sickness began to deplete his resources. When he cried out,
I wanted to play deaf, but God in me, and the fact that the child’s best
interest matters, could not let me form too busy to hear him. I called others
to rally round, we raised not just funds but people to be “there” as he travelled
across the sea in search of wellness and ultimately peace. His son was healed
and so was he. Today, when he hears alumni meeting, he comes twice! When you
let down your hair to just “hang out” with friends, family, wife or significant
other, the happy hormone called oxytocin is released. Hugs and laughter when
socialising with family, friends and folks who are near and dear triggers the
release of happy hormones, which makes you feel naturally good. Sex, dance and
massage do this too but needs extra energy; feeling good comes only after
expending energy. Soothing music does it effortlessly but being happy depends
on where you are listening, to what and how. But spending time with loved ones
requires less energy as just being there is enough. Watch a movie with friends
or family, get your nails done with significant other or just chill
without frills. It serves peace.
Surah Al-Hujurat says, Humanity
is but a single brotherhood, so make peace with your brethrens. And fear Allah
that you may receive mercy
John 14:27 says, Peace I leave with you, my
peace I give to you: not as the world gives, give I to you. Let not your heart
be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
Isaiah 48:22 There is no
peace, saith the LORD, unto the wicked.
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