Stepping Out

Are you okay? Are you sure you are okay? Why? These are the type of queries my decision to return to my homeland elicited. Why shouldn't I return? When I stepped out four (4) years ago, it was to do a master degree programme and return home. I did not even think of waiting an extra year.

Fourth quarter into my programme, I got an opportunity to study for a second master programme. Why not tap into it? My Mum has always been interested in me doing a course in education so I decided on a course of study in education. But, instead of administration which has always been my Mum's first choice, I chose Cultural Studies. One win for her, one win for me.

It all started when I signed up for an outreach programme which saw me visiting schools to share the Nigerian and African culture with students and teachers. It made so much impact that the Director awarded me an assistantship to work as Cultural Consultant. The award covered about 70% of the fees. Talk about God making a way. Thinking that the assistantship was for two (2) years and with one year of my first master programme done, I decided on the second master. Since I stepped out in faith, God stepped in when I was notified that it was just for a year. God ensured that despite having to go through interviews again, the assistantship came to me a second time.

But here am I, two months after shocking family, friends and acquaintances by stepping out of the USA in faith, I am besieged by the fear of the unknown and I'm waiting to see what Nigeria offers before stepping in. My plan was to get a place of abode, get a job, a car and maybe a man as icing on the cake; all before stepping in. Sure God can do it but isn't that a way of baiting God, of boxing Jesus into a corner. If you do this, that and those, I will...

When it seem nothing had changed in the direction of my needs, I started singing the song of "I'm jobless, homeless and manless" perhaps someone will hear my solo and offer help. But my God does not share His glory with anyone. He ensured all promises in that line had the tag of "when you return, I'll see what I can do." But?

How did I get to this point where like Thomas I want to see before believing? Thinking back to where it all started, going to America was a miracle. How else do one explain that God took me to Brazil to meet an Associate Professor from the US as a way of orchestrating my study abroad which I prayed for in Nigeria.

How else do you explain that in answer to my prayer, strangers were located at my point of arrival to drive me to school and become a family that stuck close throughout my sojourn. How else do you explain that without the help of anyone, God led me from Ohio to lodge in a hotel and from there to Maryland to reside in a home that met every specification I desired. Miracle has trailed my going but now that it is time to return, I want to see to what God is asking me to return. How so very Didymus!

I have thought long and I have thougth deep now I'm done waiting. While I have no doubt that this waiting period is in line with God's plan, it is time to mix faith with my desire to impact Nigeria. It is time to step out. It is time to step up into what God has prepared for me; a global enterprise not just a job, a home garnished with peace not just a place of abode, an extra-ordinary man not just a husband...

Two weeks from now I'll be home to step into God's awesome favour. My testimonies shall challenge many and my story shall be marked out as glory.

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Water! Water! Everywhere

Do you remember that newspaper headline, “Water, water everywhere and not enough to drink!” Ponds, rivers, wells, yet folks complain about not having enough. That’s the way it seems with men.

Gone are the days when men were in shortfall due to being at the war front. The war has moved from the fields to our doorsteps or even our hearts; more within than without. If you think men are less than demand then you haven’t taken a virtual tour. You’d be amazed at the number of dating sites – the good, the bad and the ugly. And the array of men – never married, single with a clause, complicated, separated, even married – that grace these sites make you wonder why there are still fewer husbands.

In my dictionary, these men would be mentally blind, psychologically deaf and socially dumb otherwise how come the internet has become a reach out zone reducing folks, in search of love, to mere profiles. Or perhaps they’ve ditched all those within reach and need to save face. A man once asked me if I wanted him to beg for my love; honestly if you ask me, that’s daft. Even peacocks flaunt and flirt just to get attention. We’ve been so brainwashed that money, employment and promotion has become the only reasons for which we flaunt our skills or seek self-development. If only more people will do a periodic self-assessment and seek to genuinely improve, then we are off to more people not only getting married but staying married.

These days it is easier to find a job than to find a man with a good head on his shoulders who is willing to settle down and build a home. Two very important ingredients – eligibility and accessibility; if a man is eligible and not accessible, what’s the point. Everyone wonders why you aren’t married; they are quick to conclude you are proud, yet no one seem to know any great guy who is eligible and accessible. What is the use of money you don’t have access to, what’s the benefit of a man who is available but not ready for the plunge?

Have you ever attended a so called "single and married" conference? After ignoring such for years I decided to attend one organised by a Church I consider very forward looking. Unfortunately they did not disappoint me: the questions as usual were asked by the married, directed at the married and ratified by a panel made up of the married! A talk show where the seemingly wise married talked down at the seemingly foolish singles. To acknowledge the singles that made up a chunk of the congregation, a liberal woman was magnanimous enough to tilt her response to one of the 9 compound questions towards singles.

The Church used to be where folks looked to find sane folks but these days the insane ones have left the streets to take refuge in the Sanctuary. For the mere fact that the major way to depopulate the kingdom of satan lies in family union, you’d question the lackadaisical attitude with which Pastors take the issue of marriage. You’d be glad to find a Church these days that have a thriving “singles” group. That’s a label right there! Singles! No one organises meetings for “barren”, "childless” or “divorced”. If you do find a Church with a singles group at all, the age group may very well be 14 till marriage (absurd!) or the leader would be most likely married (of course single people are too dumb to manage themselves or how else do you explain the oversight).

With the alarming population on dating sites, I am forced to believe that men seeking women are traveling north while women seeking men are traveling south. The dividing wall of Jericho on the runway stops you from responding to the wink of those that catch your fancy. When you do survive the challenging obstacle course, you may well discover that the subject of your fancy is underage, hooked on the bottle, chimney personified, good with his fist, jobless and lazy (two incompatible traits), a free thinker (perhaps gay), sexually obsessed, uneducated or just plain simply daft! And then you wonder what combination of these personalities some of the married may have compromised.

There’s water and like men there’s still not a clean glass to quench your thirst. Should uncles and aunties poke you at weddings to say “you’re next”, simply poke them at funerals to say the same. The music may not thrill you, the joke may not be funny but while you are here, dance and laugh! Your bones can use the swirl and your soul can use the giggle.

(c) Excerpts from Men. Men, Men!